just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
