farters have to be the big spoon...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
