your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
