me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
