the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
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Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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