I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize