my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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