Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
