want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
