In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
