I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize