I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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