his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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