I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
