What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
