They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
