What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
