was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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