I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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