Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
