No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
