I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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