I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
