I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
how drunk are you?
Several
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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