I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
