if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
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