I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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