So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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