He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just blew my weed a kiss
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
