what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
