SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize