And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
