K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
