Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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