i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
