i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
