im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
