He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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