I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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