I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize