He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
