Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I AM VODKA MAN
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
