There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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