I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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