I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
