my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
