I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
