About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize