he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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