shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
