I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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