Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize