Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
as a side note pls kill me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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