so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just had sex on a roof
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
