Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
