new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
