me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
