And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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