had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
this is an emotional support booty call
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
