Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
