just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
