scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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