you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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